Episode 4: Sniper Special Ops

Mick, Jesse, and sweet baby brother Taylor got together for another episode of Don't Watch This Shit. We watched Steven Segal's Sniper Special Ops. It was not good.

TITS: 0

EXPLOSIONS: 4

ONE LINERS: 1

MICK

  1. Gratuitous Patriotism
  2. Racist soldier on squad
  3. Seagal goes back to save someone
  4. One of the team members is a traitor
  5. Nobody has done any research on guns/combat
  6. Seagal gets the girl
  7. Gratuitous puns
  8. Someone is going to do that terrorist scream
  9. Wilhelm Scream
  10. Latent homoeroticism

FINAL THOUGHTS: GIANT WASTE OF TIME

JESSE

  1. Steven Seagal is effectively immortal
  2. Only one American is hurt
  3. Girl is won by Steven Seagal in the end
  4. Steven Seagal never removes sunglasses
  5. Steven Seagal martial arts someone to death
  6. Horrible gunplay
  7. Steven Seagal speaks Arabic
  8. Towelhead & Other Offensive slurs
  9. At least one America! or USA!
  10. Vic and Jake bromance. One of them brings up bet in the end.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I FEEL GUILTY FOR GIVING STEVEN SEAGAL MONEY FOR THIS

TAYLOR

  1. There is no spotter at any point
  2. Seagal is loose cannon cop, served for multiple tours
  3. Little brother death scene
  4. Flashback to little blonde girl running in yard
  5. Reloading only twice
  6. Seagal powers through leg wound at the end
  7. Black hawks save the day like in LOTR.
  8. RPG used on humans
  9. Wilhelm scream from grenade throw
  10. Comes from army family, his father, his father before him